Lemming

Handsome French couple Alain and Bénédicte Getty invite Alain’s new boss Richard and his wife over for a meal. Their guests run so late the handsome couple are about to give up and have a quickie on the sofa when the doorbell rings. Richard is very embarrassed but agrees to continue with the evening, returning from his idling car with the emotionally skelletal Alice, who lurks narrowly behind her sunglasses at the dinner table until mentioning her husband’s penchent for whores, hence their tardiness. Richard is very embarrassed, unsurprisingly, as are their hosts. Then she throws her wine in his face. Dinner ends abruptly. That night, Alain finds a dead lemming clogged down the kitchen sink U-bend.

Basic Instinct 2 – Base Instincter

I barely remember Basic Instinct, apart from a doggy-style and an ice pick. I think I saw it out of the corner of my eye while revising at university – I’m sure it was total shit though, and I listen to Bill Hicks the way credulous people listen to God, so don’t ask me to justify the assumption.